Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Future First Couple...But Not Really.
America's most celebrated drag queen posing as both Michelle and Barack Obama. Not surprisingly, RuPaul is plays a much more convincing First Lady... dare, I say much hotter than the actual future first lady.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Another Great SNL Short...
"Gizzed in My Pants"... I love this, another Andy Samberg success. Cameos by Justin Timberlake, Molly Sims...
Not Everything Needs To Be Done Together...
The TwoDaLoo is a toilet made for two. Just the thought of it disgusts me. The TwoDaLoo is billed as the world's first toilet two people can use ... at the exact same time. It brings couples closer together and conserves our water supply all with one flush. The TwoDaLoo features two side-by-side toilet seats with a modest privacy wall in between. An upgraded version includes a seven inch LCD television and iPod docking station. Wait.. and this is to "SAVE A ROCKY MARRIAGE?!?" I would think it would assist in immediate divorce.
Oh yeah, because a "modest privacy wall" makes it all okay. WTF! Available now for wholesale?@?!?!?!? The units cost $1,400 apiece and the minimum order is 12. So yeah, you could crap and piss out in the open with 23 other people? Made in China...SURPRISE.
Like A Cat!
President George Bush had shoes thrown at him during a press conference in Baghdad yesterday. An Iraqi journalist, who surprisingly didn't get his ass shot, whipped not one but BOTH of his shoes at the president after calling him a "dog."
That's ONE Definition of "Art"
True or False: Artist Paul McCarthy's is currently displaying a public sculpture entitled “Santa with Butt Plug” at the Middelheim Sculpture Museum in Antwerp, Belgium. Unbelievably - TRUE! http://www.artinfo.com/news/story/29546/santas-little-helper/
However, you don't have to travel all the way to Belgium to get a little piece of this sex toy-holding Santa, he'll be available as a MILK CHOCOLATE MOLD, I'm not kidding, at McCartney's Peter Paul Chocolates. At $100 a piece, make sure you get this gift for someone "special"... wow, what a DEAL considering the economic situation we're in now!
That Was The BEST They Could Think Of????
The soft drink made with your cat in mind.... but really, were the creators trying to pull one over on us? And why would any pet like fizzy drinks? If this makes money, I'm seriously in the wrong field... let's be honest, some crazed club promoter is going to think this is funny and sell it to club kids mixed with vodka. "Vodka with a splash of Pussy Pop please."
Just Eat It...
Madonna totally eats it during a concert in Brazil. Honestly, the rest of the dance sequence is so discombobulated that I'm not sure I would have noticed.
This Year's "Southwest" Incident...
Everyone's trying to find out more about Sondra Fortunato on Google today apparently... Who is she you say? Sondra Fortunato is a Giants superfan who was forcibly removed from the game this weekend because her outfit was "offending" other people in the stadium. Ms. Fortunato, who's been a fixture at Giants games for more than 30 years, was wearing a Santa Claus outfit complete with a tiara, fishnet stockings, a bathing suit bottom and high-heeled boots. Fortunato defended herself vigorously against the charges, saying, “”Nothing was showing. You couldn't even see my underwear. I don't flash!”
Even with Playboy's "economic" crisis, I don't think Sondra would make the cut. But who knows...
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
This May Be On The Next NYT Bestseller
He's only 9, but this little pickup artist already knows plenty about pleasing the ladies.
So much, in fact, that Alec Greven's dating primer, "How to Talk to Girls" - which began as a handwritten, $3 pamphlet sold at his school book fair - hit the shelves nationwide last week.
So much, in fact, that Alec Greven's dating primer, "How to Talk to Girls" - which began as a handwritten, $3 pamphlet sold at his school book fair - hit the shelves nationwide last week.
The fourth-grader advises Romeo wannabes to stop showing off, go easy on the compliments to avoid looking desperate - and be wary of "pretty girls." It is apparently easy to spot pretty girls because they have, "big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewelry," he writes in Chapter Three.
"Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil."
"Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil."
He advises, "The best choice for most boys is a regular girl. Remember, some pretty girls are coldhearted when it comes to boys. Don't let them get to you."
Over a few Shirley Temples yesterday at Langan's on West 47 Street, Alec said that he culled his wisdom by peeking at his peers at play. "I saw a lot of boys that had trouble talking to girls," Alec said. As for his how-to, he concedes, "I never expected people to buy it like a regular book in a bookstore."
But with classic plain-spoken advice - like "comb your hair and don't wear sweats" - it's no surprise his 46-page book was a hit with boys and girls of all ages.
He believes the best way to approach a girl is to keep it to a simple "hi." "If I say hi and you say hi back, we're probably off to a good start," he said.
As for his own love life, he said he is not dating anyone at the moment. "I'm a little too young," he confessed. In his book, published by HarperCollins, he suggests holding off on falling in love until at least middle school. Dating - which he defines as going out to dinner without your parents - is for "kind of old" people, who are 15 or 16.
Officials at the Soaring Hawk Elementary School said he wrote the book - which was the runaway bestseller at its book fair - for kids, but believe anyone can find inspiration in it.
Alec's mother, Erin Greven, credits her son's beyond-his-years insight to his avid reading.
"He reads nonstop. At dinner, I say, 'Put your book down,' " she said. Alec - who just finished a children's book on the Watergate scandal - said he wants to be a full-time writer when he grows up, with a weekend job in archaeology or paleontology.
Alec's mother, Erin Greven, credits her son's beyond-his-years insight to his avid reading.
"He reads nonstop. At dinner, I say, 'Put your book down,' " she said. Alec - who just finished a children's book on the Watergate scandal - said he wants to be a full-time writer when he grows up, with a weekend job in archaeology or paleontology.
Read It All Here: http://browseinside.harpercollins.com/index.aspx?isbn13=9780061709999
A Jazzy Walrus
10 Strange Laws Abroad
We're all heard about the ridiculous, archaic laws here, stuff about shooting bison from trains and grazing your cows on Boston Common and so forth. But it's imperative to be aware of completely useless laws in other parts of the world, in case you should happen to travel there and find yourself in a really, really unlikely situation. So, here are some stupid laws you may need to know when you go abroad:
1. Australia - It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar.
2. France - Between the hours of 8AM and 8PM, 70% of the music in the radio must be by French composers.
3. Thailand - It is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing underwear (This unfortunately may be a slight issue for some of my dearest friends).
4. Italy - It is an offence for women of 'ill repute or evil looks' to enter a cheese factory in the area of Ferrara.
5. Scotland - It is illegal to be a drunk while in possession of a cow.... again, I'm worried.
6. France - It is illegal in Antibes to take photos of police officers or police vehicles, even if they are just in the background.
7. Lebanon - Men are legally allowed to have sex with animals so long as the animals are female. It is illegal to have sex with a male animal.
8. China - Women are prohibited from walking around a hotel room in the nude. A woman may only be naked whilst in the bathroom. (this can't possibly be followed)
BUT, my personal favorite--
9. In Hong Kong, a woman is legally allowed to kill her cheating husband, only if she uses her bare hands. The husband's lover however may be killed in any manner desired.
You Mean They're Not The Same Person?
Monday, December 1, 2008
Cyber Fashion Monday
Whew, trying to catch up on work is going to be impossible today! To keep you guys entertained, why not check out the zillions of Cyber Monday sales going on?
Intermix - 15% off sale & full priced items with the code "CYBER" at checkout!
Old Navy - Get 20% off with the code "SAVENOW" at checkout!
Singer 22 - Get 20% off with the code "TURKEY20" at checkout!
Eye Candy Buy Candy - Get 40% off with the code "OMG40"
Manhattinite - Get 40% off with the code "CyberMonday" at checkout!
Piperlime - Get 20% off with the code "MONDAY" at checkout!
Queen Bee - Get 40% off all full-priced items with the code "BLACKFRIDAY08" at checkout!
Victoria's Secret - Get 20% off your order (except Ugg, Frye and the Fantasy Bra) with the code "GET20" at checkout. This sale lasts until Wed!
EDressMe - Certain designer dresses for only $75
Intermix - 15% off sale & full priced items with the code "CYBER" at checkout!
Old Navy - Get 20% off with the code "SAVENOW" at checkout!
Singer 22 - Get 20% off with the code "TURKEY20" at checkout!
Eye Candy Buy Candy - Get 40% off with the code "OMG40"
Manhattinite - Get 40% off with the code "CyberMonday" at checkout!
Piperlime - Get 20% off with the code "MONDAY" at checkout!
Queen Bee - Get 40% off all full-priced items with the code "BLACKFRIDAY08" at checkout!
Victoria's Secret - Get 20% off your order (except Ugg, Frye and the Fantasy Bra) with the code "GET20" at checkout. This sale lasts until Wed!
EDressMe - Certain designer dresses for only $75
Looking Kind Of Dapper
Wardrobe Malfunction
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