Saturday, March 13, 2010

Derelicte...For Real

According to Blackbook, this homeless Chinese man, now dubbed “Brother Sharp,” is the new Mary Kate Olsen. Those furry Ugg slippers are so Derelicte! There is a blog about him, following him and his "fashions". The article continues to advise that he is mentally disturbed and looks frightened if you approach him... I can't believe this shit makes news. Seriously... and that I'm re-reporting it to you guys like it is news.

Reporter Straight Up Loses It

We have all had days like this, right? Now, should we feel sorry for the reporter (Gordon Boyd) (whose rough day at work is now a viral video hit) or should we laugh at his failure? Maybe we can do both...with more emphasis on the laughing.

Best Jobs In America

It’s interesting to see which professions do top the list: systems engineer, physician assistant, college professor, and nurse practitioner. I don't know if I would have thought that... so paper store or clothing boutique owner didn't make the cut?

The Jetson Age Is Here

It is 2010, and you can finally buy your own jetpack. For a mere $86,000, if you put 10% down now and are willing to wait 12 months -- consider it yours. We can all whine, complain about the price, but admit it... if you had the loot, you would consider it - come one now-- it's a JETPACK!

The jetpack itself is 5 feet tall and 5.5 feet wide (so way bigger than me...) and made of a carbon fiber composite with a pinch of Kevlar for the rotor. It uses regular gasoline and will travel a grand distance of 31.5 miles at a maximum speed of 63 mph, which should comfortably take you from home to office (and back) in a jiffy, and with a lot of noise.

You'll still need to pass a training program before taking receipt of the jetpack, so you don't randomly crash into walls or dive into a gas station. Should such an unfortunate eventuality occur, a ballistic parachute system will (hopefully) lift you away from danger.

Interior Designer of The Year For Sure

Koopas are the only things that would make this incredible shelf better. The pipe is a nice touch, though.... but only if it would act as a trash can too.

Just Because...

How do you know when you're REALLY rich (or unbelievably ostentatious)? When you buy watches with dinosaur bones inside just because you can.

This Louis Moinet Jurassic Tourbillon Watch does indeed feature fragments of 130-million-year-old dinosaur bones inside for some reason. Why? Who the fuck knows. But why not, really. It's also got other "nice" features, like an 18K white gold case with 56 diamonds on the bezel. So in other words, it's insanely expensive, because it has some dinosaur dust. And you'll be reminded of how rich you are every time you check the time. I guess that's the point, no?

A Revolution Is On Hand

The Can Grip snaps on to any standard aluminum can, providing the drinker with not only a handle, but a coaster. AAAAAAAH, future technology! And you won't believe this-- but they're cheap, only $10 for 6. But the real question is... where can I get some of that watermelon beer in the picture? And, more importantly, is it seedless?

Thinking She Should Stay Blonde

Ehhh... Katherine Heigl as a brunette...not so good. Hopefully for a movie role, but then again-- why would you want to hire someone so cute to have them look worse? HIDS. Then again, it worked for Charlize Theron... Who are we fooling? Heigl is a terrible actress, no need to make her look terrible too. Case closed.

Jessica Simpson: The Reason She Can't Keep a Man

During an interview with "iheartradio", Jessica Simpson revealed she doesn't brush her teeth just before singing two feet away from a crowd of people. Specifically, Simpson said, "I don't brush my teeth. No, really. I just use Listerine, and sometimes I'll use my sweater."
Is she serious?
I guess so... See the video if you must hear it for yourself.