Friday, February 29, 2008

Clean Me!

Why does Jessica Simpson refuse to wash her dog? I've never ONCE seen her dog clean or groomed. Disgusting.


Most recently, my friend Ms. Ashley took over a pretty well-known blog called "Watch Me Turn 30"... Ashley's pointed question of the year has been- "Is spending your late 20s living on South Beach and island-hopping the Caribbean as a career a) every responsible adult's fantasy or b) totally outlandish and ultimately unfulfilling for a semi-responsible adult who still places an abnormally high priority on fun?" I love it... she writes daily, but each entry short, sweet and with a photo!

Great blog, realistic and well written. I have included her site as one of "my favorites" to the right. Check it out!

Fat Boys Have It Easier Than Fat Girls

I am not one of those people who tries to pretend there is some upside to being born a female (but there is). I just try to remind myself things like "at least I'm not blind!" and "at least I wasn't born in Algeria!" etc. etc. when I get all down feeling. Because we get less pay and less respect and more hormones and more emotions and more responsibilities and more vulnerability to STDs and, it even turns out today, we get more emotional distress when our husbands or boyfriends get cancer than they even do.

So anyways, no, this "NEWS" is not going to shock you, but it is much easier to be a fat boy than it is a fat girl. Writer Sandy Hingston has a chubby son and daughter, and while the son, a football player, looks at his size as something of an awesome feat, her daughter got an eating disorder. "By 10th grade, she was Kate Moss-thin. I was impressed by her self-control -- until her hair began to fall out in clumps." Check out her story- if you're still surprised that's it's harder to be a fat girl than a fat boy.

Why Wear A Half Top?

Why does Britney Spears' insist on wearing a half top? I don't get it... You don't see me rolling up in a bra top -- people should just flat out KNOW better.


This is just funny... Lorraine, you know how much we LOVE it when people use, OMG, LOL, LOL, OMG.... this guy took it to a whole new level and OMG, its really GREAT!!!


Now if I was going to get a big tat across my back, THIS is the one that I think would be most fitting... 

Some Tat ideas...

Here are some pretty sweet tats... these people really went all out and I hope they enjoy these lovely designs for MANY MANY MANY YEARS TO COME.... Good lord....

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

On a Pizza Kick...

I'm really sorry- but once you start looking, you get zillions of hits. And anyone who knows me - knows that I'm: 1) Asian; and 2) find the Asian culture hilarious at times. It's just so amazing to me how different culture interpret the Western culture. Well, check out below commercial...

First and foremost, the adoption and emulation of American popular culture is not a new phenomenon in Asia as you know, but what's happening in the video involves layers upon layers of mashup: a Korean musical artist who adopts Kongrish along with a West Coast gangsta rap style, cross-dressing in a slapstick commercial with comic book elements, promoting a South Korean chain pizza with octopus on it. Catch all that? Nevermind the fact that pizza alone is conceptually a historical mashup—this 30-second video represents a mashup on a truly global level, in terms of language, food, clothes, culture, gender definitions, and music.

Ok, LAST ONE... I Promise

Admittedly it's not the crust on the Abalone Sauce Cheesy Lava Stuffed Crust Pizza that is so mindblowing but the whole package of seafood, abalone sauce, crayfish and crab roe dressing, chicken, and enoki mushrooms—along with the commercial below—that makes this pizza look like the ultimate symbol of today's cosmopolitan woman. Let's call this the "Sex and the City" pizza. My favorite part is when the cheese—a combination of mozzarella, Parmesan, and cheddar—oozes out of the crust holes. I think that's how the pizza "breathes"... seriously thought this was a tampon commercial until I saw Pizza Hut's logo.

I can't imagine (personally) a more DISGUSTING pizza. But then again, I was craving that McDonald's Cheeseburger/Chicken McNuggets pizza I posted a few months ago... HAHAHA...

More Asian Pizzas...

I introduce to you the - TRIPLE CHEESE PIZZA (Domino's of South Korea)... "How do we get more cheese into our pizza?" I imagine that someone had to ask that question to prompt the creation of the Triple Cheese Pizza, a stack of three thin crusts, each slathered with a different kind of cheese: cheddar for the bottom layer, Camembert for the middle layer, and emmental for the top layer.

I think "triple cheese" would normally get a decent response- but this is THREE PIZZAS stacked together essentially.

Weird Asian Pizzas

I love pizza as much as the next person... but some of these "Asian" pizzas kill me. See what I mean below... I mean nothing gets the stomach juices flowing quite as well as a ring of shrimp with tails dangling in the air and heads swaddled in tubes of cheese-stuffed dough, right?

1. WHOLE SHRIMP CHEESE BITE (Japan, Pizza Hut) For the pizza lover who also craves shrimp and cheese wrapped in dough, Pizza Hut has created the Whole Shrimp Cheese Bite. Because nothing gets the stomach juices flowing quite as well as a ring of shrimp with tails dangling in the air and heads swaddled in tubes of cheese-stuffed dough.

2. SHRUMP AND MAYO ROLL CRUST (Japan, South Korea- Pizza Hut)- Pizza Hut's Shrimp and Mayo Crust Roll is similar to its Whole Shrimp Cheese Bite except it uses shrimp nuggets instead of whole shrimp and is injected with mayonnaise instead of surrounded by gooey cheese. Think pigs in a blanket reimagined as cheese-oozing shrimp nubs in a blanket.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


Dude, I know all you can see is that bright ass gator bag-- BUT PLEASE take a moment to look at her JAZZ SHOES. Are those even hers?

Dumps Like A Truck

Jennifer Love Hewitt doesn't help herself by wearing these dumpy clothes.

Rachel Bilson- Not Bangin'

I feel like Rachel Bilson has effectively KILLED the bang trend... she looks like she has a bad helmet on her head. Seriously. WHAT WAS SHE THINKING? Remember- this is the best the hair can look- after cut, color and style. What a shit for brains move.

Lindsay Lohan: Rainbow Brite

As much as I'm making fun, I actually really like this dress and would full on wear it. I bet this shit comes full length too... love it.

Reserve Your Spot In Heaven: Spaces Limited

Worried about the life you've lived? Don't worry, I'm with you. But now there's hope for even the worst of us sinners thanks to a company selling reserved spots in heaven. That's right for a paltry $12.79 you too can guarantee a pass to the cloudy oasis that is heaven.

The package includes: (1) Heavenly issued certificate of reservation registered in the Book of Light; (2) A First class ticket to Heaven -- I mean, why walk those stairs when you can fly right? Imagine the Frequent Flier Miles you get; (3) The Official Heaven Identification Card so you can get around without getting hassled - No Fake IDs please; and of course, (4) Heaven 101 mini informational guide- hopefully there is a map too. Don’t be a victim of culture shock. Get acquainted with the land. YES- 100% GUARANTEED. BUY STOCK IN THIS ONE GUYS.

What's next? If you're not satisfied with the "Essential Package" you can opt for the All Access Kit for $15.95 - BALLERS ONLY. In addition to all the basic crap it includes an "all access VIP pass." This pass will grant you access to “VIP exclusive areas” including the Land of Milk and Honey and Thug Mansion, where all the elite get together and kick it." I do like milk and honey, so I may have to drop for the upgrade. Too bad I think this is all a sham. Yeah, it turns out the company also sells reserved spots in hell. That's what tipped me off. Because, let's face it, those spots come free and I've got a whole row reserved.

New Product Alert 2!!

Kraft just announced "Bagel-Fuls," frozen bagels that come filled with cream cheese. WHOA - LOADS OF TIME WILL BE SAVED!! Not to mention calories, since I want my bagels JAM PACKED with full fat cream cheese. YESSSSS. All you have to do is let the bagel defrost for 30-60 minutes, instead of taking that 30 seconds to spread on the cream cheese yourself. Perfect.

New Product Alert!

I'm always trying new candy (especially gum) and pride myself on being "FIRST" without further ado, I present to you Wild Cherry M&Ms, available to us for a limited time only. In searching for a photo, I came across the below site that informed me that M&M will also be coming out with Crispy Mint M&Ms... so excited!! They sound like Thing Mints but crispy and in a compact form!

Jamie Lynn Spears: High School Graduate

Jamie Lynn Spears passed her GED exam and is looking to go to college in the fall. People magzine reports: "She's already got her diploma," according to the friend. "She wants to take her ACT. She's not wasting any time. People don't know her. When she gets something in her head, she'll make it happen. Everybody is so supportive of her."

Well, the story was supposed to be that she got her GED-- but honestly, the story is the fact that she's not that pregnant looking. At least not in this picture, maybe the angle? And she's still with her baby nice.

I'm Fuckin' Ben Affleck!

I personally liked the "I'm Fuckin' Matt Damon" better...but what can you do? Note Brad Pitt as the Fed Ex guy...

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Sex And The City- Movie Trailer..

I am dying... After watching the extended trailer for the Sex and the City movie, I'm excited. I wish it were out already!

Too Pretty To Fly? COME ON...Get Real

I believe that people will do just about anything for attention now in days... As I'm sure everyone is now aware, last year, Kyla Ebberts raised a huge ruckus with Southwest when they asked her to change out of the skimpy clothing that she was wearing on a flight. She was perfectly warranted in her argument, mind you; as numerous images prove (from my previous posts), she wasn't wearing anything more than a tight shirt and a really short skirt.

Now it seems like it's getting out of hand. In the most recent chapter of Skirtgate, two teens flying between Tampa and Los Angeles are trying to stir the pot again, because they were escorted off the plane by security officers (at the destination). Apparently, they were causing a disruption on the plane because they couldn't get water when they wanted it and were knocking on the lavatory door while someone was inside. Their side of the story is plaint STUPID- specifically that the flight attendants were rude and discriminatory to them, saying,"I think they were just discriminating against because we were young decent-looking girls. I mean, nobody else on the plane looked like us except us. [The flight attendants] were like older ladies. We were younger. Who knows, they could have been just jealous of us because we were younger." Or maybe you were just being spoiled brats....

SNL: Lady Business

So true- with all those "Sex and the City" type shows-- but with extremely successful women and their man hating ways... what's up with that?

Cute Art

Rihanna bought $35,000 worth of art from Todd Goldman as a birthday present to herself.
The Umbrella diva is sending half to her New York apartment and keeping the other half in her Los Angeles home. She bought several paintings. They are:
"Fat kids are harder to kidnap"; "Goodbye kitty in a microwave"; "Gold digger like a hooker just smarter";"My mom says not to run scissors"; "Barbie is a slut"; "A salt with a deadly weapon" and "Smurf blue balls".
I LOOOVE cute art.

Angelina Jolie Is Totally Pregnant...

Jolie hasn't "officially" confirmed her pregnancy, but she sported a revealing black gown and showed off her blossoming belly...

Friday, February 22, 2008

Seriously- Who Is That? One Guess...

Officers arrested Aaron Carter, Backstreet Boy's Nick Carter's little brother and Lindsay Lohan's ex, last night in Texas for speeding and possession of marijuana. The former annoying child "music star" (that term is loosely used) was forced to spend the night in jail and Star reports:

"After he was stopped, his car was searched and some marijuana - less than two ounces - was found in the vehicle," Kimble County Sheriff Michael Chapman told Star. "Mr. Carter was placed under arrest and charged with misdemeanor possession of marijuana and speeding. His car was impounded." What Nick couldn't make bail?

Did anyone know if Aaron Carter was still alive? What is he even doing with himself? He can't legitimately pass himself off anymore as the funky fresh 13-year-old who just wants to hold your hand. But, judging by his appearance, Aaron seems to have found his true calling in life: being that stoner guy who wants to get you high and hopefully touch a boob - or get a pizza. Whatever. Aaron Carter can't even fuck up correctly- anyone who's anyone gets DUIs. Silly.

100 Carats... A Girl Can Dream

Its been twenty years since such a mighty colorless diamond has hit the auction block. At 101.27 carats, this gigantic gem is expected to bring in more than $6 million when auctioned at the Hong Kong branch of Christie's later this year. On display in London currently until February 27th it will be one of only four colorless diamonds over 100 carats ever auctioned. And I thought ten carats was a sizable rock!
I was just looking at a ring at Cartier - 10 carats and $1 million dollars. So, if this sold for $6 million, I'd be getting a bulk discount.

Heidi Klum... or Kate Moss?

Taken courtesy of one of my favorite sites, but seriously, what is up with Heidi Klum?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Shiny Leggings SUCK

I understand the legging trend- comfortable and for the most part flattering. Now designers (and celebrities that are falling for it) are trying to push this SHINY shit that will inevitably make your thighs look rounder... what does this even go with?


Christina Aguilera's boobs are getting bigger by the second. WHAT? They have to be like FFFs by this point.

Duck, Duck, Goose

This picture of Kelly Rowland doesn't need much explanation... this dress is almost as bad a Bjork's swan dress a few years ago.

What's Up With Her Face?

Seriously, this is plastic surgery gone wrong... what is up with her face? I can hardly tell this is supposed to be Nicole Kidman. Stop the insanity...

We Are In A Recession...

I guess we are in a recession... because even Britney Spears is feeling the squeeze... or her recent legal and medical bills are so over the top that she must shop at Forever 21 as well. Alas, she didn't purchase anything. She is looking a lot skinnier though... but what's up with those manly looking shoes?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Ooh.. Don't Think I Had the "Suck My Dick Fuck Face" For Dinner tonight...

The BBC is reporting that a restaurant owner has issued an apology to some customers who received this hilarious bill.

"I couldn't believe it. The bill read 'fish cakes', which one of us had for a starter, and it was written right above it - absolutely disgusting language. We actually booked the table for 8 o' clock in the evening, by the ,time they had taken our order it was quarter to nine and we didn't actually receive our food until quarter past 10." She added: "I'd like a written apology from the restaurant and I'd also like some compensation. "I think that the way that we've been spoken to is absolutely outrageous."

The owner of the restaurant "Joe Delucci's", Mr Langsdon, told the BBC that the message was intended to be seen only by the kitchen staff....which is MUCH better. "That shouldn't come out on the bill, so we've got to find out what's gone wrong there. But we have apologised unreservedly to the girls concerned and said that they're very welcome to come back and have a free meal and we'd like them to." He has also offered to donate the bill for their meal to charity - what does that have to do with anything??

I would, in fact, have LOVED for this to be me. I would go to this restaurant over and over as a joke -this place clearly has a sense of humor.

FINALLY, an Explanation...

Amy Winehouse's surprising amount of boobage has finally been explained. Amy was at a some (crack) party over the weekend with her new man Blake Wood and apparently left some clues behind, according to Page Six: "She left a pair of boob enhancers - like chicken cutlet things to push up your boobs - and some hair extensions in the toilet," Later, Winehouse and Wood went to his apartment with a group of people who "were all getting drunk - except for them."

Not Aging Well

I am so sad about this. Kathleen Turner was such a beautiful woman in the 80s. Look what hard living, drugs and bad plastic surgery has done to her !!! I remember watching Body Heat (1981) and Romancing the Stone (1984) and thinking she was the hottest thing ever. Also, if anyone remembers...she was the voice of Jessica Rabbit in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" My favorite quote was her sexy declaration... "I'm not so bad....I'm just drawn that way." Anyway, very sad today when I saw this picture.

I Never Get Tired Of Him Without His Shirt On...

Matthew McConaughey strips down for a new Dolce & Gabanna fragrance ad...and it's unreal.

Yin & Yang: Yao and Li

I don't think a caption is necessary... but just for info. purposes, Yao Ming is 7'6" and actor Jet Li is just over 5'6"... almost 2 FEET!!! Whatever, Jet can still karate chop the hell out of Yao.

They're Real... Or Are They?

Everyone's talking about Linsday Lohan's nude photo shoot in NY Magazine, which recreated Marilyn Monroe's last photos... However, what I want to talk about is how I know feel that her boobs are real. See photo evidence to the right... they just don't have that "roundness" traditionally found in fake boobs.

Just in case you haven't seen all the pictures:

Punk'D Phillies Style

I will admit the Phillies a good job in rounding up the whole team and the media to "punk" teammate Kyle Kendrick - they even went as far as a fake itinerary, a fake press release, and fake trade papers to fool Kendrick... but his reaction isn't completely golden. Kind of funny that they hypothetically traded him from Kobeyashi (the ultimate hot dog eater though).

Monday, February 18, 2008

Apple Bottom Jeans, Boots With the Fuuuuur...

Check out Nelly's cake... An huge butt in jeans with fire rockets coming out of the ass. Sweet.

I HAD to post this...

I found this on Perez Hilton's site and HAD to post it...  WOW, This is Danny Bonadouche - I can't even spell his name but with a penis this small, does it really matter?? NOW I know why he and his wife split. I don't even know how she went on another date after sleeping with him once! Poor guy... does he actually pee on his balls? Schlong, are you going to let me keep this post up? 

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Did She Just Say The "C" Word?

This is only a 20 second clip...but must see. It's all over the internet, Jane Fonda's usage (and quite NATURAL) usage of the word CUNT. AHHH.. that word makes me feel dirty even just writing it... and to use it? Really? Strange...

Tiffany & Co. Cell Phone: $100G

Tiffany & Co. Inc. is in the process of launching its new cell phone encrusted with more than 400 diamonds totaling 20+ carats and will cost about approximately $94,000. I guess it's pretty.. but seriously, who is buying and using this phone? Would you rather have a condo or a cell phone.... let me think about that one.

What Your Car Says To The Opposite Sex

Have you ever thought about what the car you drive is saying to those potential dates? From "well-rounded and stylish" to "determined and driven to succeed" it may be telling them a lot before they even get a chance to meet you in person. Check out some of these examples and see if your car is saying what you thought it was.

I always did the: Hummer- small down there; Lotus/Lambo - small down there and Bentley convertible under 35 - rapper. hahaah... What's your take?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Sexual Chocolate For Valentine's Day

Stuck on something to hand out Valentine's Day? How about some Sweet Pussy? The chocolate lollipop vaginas come in batches of a dozen, which gives you plenty of practice pops to see how many licks it takes to get to the center of the... ewww, must stop now.

That Bump Bump Bump....

Ms. Jessica Alba revealing her growin baby bump...

World's Hairest Man Coming to Match.Com

When I first saw this, I thought it was a costume. He seriously looks like a caveman... the accompanying story to this picture is just unbearably hilarious too. I am still in disbelief that this is real and that the WORLD'S HAIRIEST MAN is CHINESE. There is something wrong with that sentence. And is he sunbathing? I just don't get it...

Yu Zhenhuan, the world's hairiest man, is looking for love online after breaking up with his girlfriend of three years. Mr Yu said that online dating agencies are his best shot at happiness, as potential love interests are "shocked" when they see him in person.

"I am being honest with any new partners", he told Zhejiang Online. "I tell them at the start that I am listed in the Guinness Book of Records as the hairiest man in the world. "My whole body is covered with hair. I tried waxing it off but the pain was incredible, and I tried shaving but my skin was like sandpaper.

"This way many girls are shocked when they see me in person, but at least they see the real me and if they get to know me I hope they will like what they find." The Guinness Book of Records gave him the title in 2002. Ninety-six per cent of his body is covered by hair, and Mr Yu says that his parents are worried that he won't be able to find a partner.

"I know I am ugly," said Mr Yu, "but I am a good person and I need love like everyone else.
"I feel like King Kong, ugly outside, but with a big heart."

What Bra Does She Have?

Amy Winhouse- the ultimate crackhead - was photographed AGAIN looking like she has HUGE boobs. Seriously, are enhanced breasts a side effect of smoking crack?
Imagine if she wasn't a crackhead? She would probably have GGG size boobs!

World's Smallest Bodybuilder

Seriously, these photos look photoshopped....

A tiny Indian bodybuilder who is less than 3 feet tall and deemed the world's smallest is causing a huge stir in his hometown and gaining international recognition, according to the British press.
Aditya "Romeo" Dev of Phagwara, India, is a "little" person who is only 2 feet, 9 inches tall and weighs not even 20 pounds, the Daily Mail reported. Throngs of people crowd into the local gymnasium on a daily basis to watch him work out, according to the Mail.

"I've been training as a bodybuilder for the last two years, and by now I think I must be the strongest dwarf in the world," Dev, 19, told the Mail. "My size has never stopped me."
In 2006, after months of intense exercise, the Guinness Book of World Records named Dev the smallest bodybuilder on the planet, the Telegraph reported. He reportedly lifts about 4 lb. weights (1.5kg) -- which is about 20% of his bodyweight.

Monday, February 11, 2008

(NOT) A Size 2

Dude, I understand that "cameras" may put on 10 pounds, but seriously, Jennifer Love Hewitt is not a size 2. She just needs to stop lying about it-- it's really not a big deal! Just don't lie about it!

Historical Jokes Take A Valentine Twist

Oh my god-- I LOVE THESE. My personal favorite is (of course) Darwin saying, "I Select You. Naturally." HAHAHAAH...

H2O Bling

Why would anyone just carry this around? Or then again, display it? From Japan (kind of surprising to me, I don't know why) is the latest $200 bottle of water. What makes it so special? The frosted glass, gold paint, and Swarovski crystals... Dude, give me $100 and I will stick some crystals on your Zephyrhills for you.

Eat Like A President...

Have you ever wondered what kind of food Presidents eat?

Well, now you now have the chance to find out. The Waldorf Astoria has hosted every U.S. President since Herbert Hoover and they're now offering a four-course presidential menu complete with wine in order to share some of their best presidential creations.

The meal includes:1st Course: Seared Scallop with Osetra Caviar and Potato-Chive Mousseline (Served to President Clinton at the Heads of State Dinner in 2000); 2nd Course: Poached Turbot with Caviar-Champagne Sauce (Served to President Reagan at the Heads of State Dinner in 1985)3rd Course: Roast Rack of Lamb with Saffron Potatoes, Candied Eggplant and Pickled Onion (Served to President George H.W. Bush in 1992 while entertaining Prime Minister John Major); 4th Course: Chocolate Extravaganza (a favorite of President George W. Bush).

The tasting menu will run you $500, which includes private butler service in a room decorated with U.S. flags and some complimentary presidential amenities/souvenirs.

The "Boyfriend" Pillow

A giant body pillow with a foam arm that simulates cuddling... and the selling point is, "Need an arm to lean on that won't talk back?" Oh yeah... This is sure to make someone cry this Valentine's Day- out of self-pity and dejection...

Sunday, February 10, 2008


You know those "what's wrong with this picture" worksheets you filled out in elementary school? I wish I had one of those now for this picture of Britney Spears...Where do I start? The inside-out and backwards shirt covering a braless Brit? The torn fishnets? Or how about the hot pink underwear worn over the tights... what an interesting choice, Britney.