Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Bride Wears Botox

My friends are all getting married...and seeing all of these costs adding up is enough to make say, "I would never spend any money on a wedding!" and "I can't believe anyone would lose weight for their big day, how superficial!" and "I am so unmaterialistic and wonderful I'm getting married in a burlap sack at the bottom of a big hole in the dirt because weddings are stupid and they should really be about true love and blah blah blah." But seriously? Fuck that noise.

I totally want a huge-ass wedding and a gorgeous designer dress and I'll probably try to lose five (or fifty) pounds by joining some retarded gym program right before the wedding. There, I said it. But I promise not to go as apeshit as the women profiled today's Guardian. According to the paper, women are getting boob jobs, nose jobs, Botox, teeth straightening, and more than 20% of brides polled by academic researchers "were taking an approach [to weight loss] that the researchers perceived as 'extreme', including downing laxatives, vomiting after meals and adopting a new-found smoking habit as a way to stave off hunger pangs." And then there are fake-tan companies such as Sienna X, which recently launched a bridal service that includes an entire schedule of tan "fittings" for three months before the wedding - to ensure you end up with exactly the right shade.

The article actually gets more absurd... like drinking tea is a "treat". Isn't that just water? WTF? Anyways, all of my little bride to be chick-a-dees...where do you fall?,,2271872,00.html

If you're really interested in "brideorexia"- check out all of these links:


Dana Lynn said...

Maybe its because i still have a little over 5 months until my wedding but I haven't felt that bridezilla mode much. I haven't been dieting much- infact, I wish I would a bit more but the fire isnt hot enough under my ass quite yet. I workout like I usually do and do my normal beauty things I was always doing even before I was engaged. Why should a girl need her wedding to start taking care of herself? I always want my face, skin, hair and body to look good everyday... not just for one day and one set of pictures.

HLB said...

I really haven't changed anything that I didn't already need to do- I whitened and still plan to do additional whitenenings of my teeth. Other than that, I'm pretty much chillin and ready for the big day.